Why you should never, ever call your girlfriend a ‘fucking b******’

I can hear the groans and gasps in the room right now, the ones I’m not too surprised to hear.

We’re talking about a conversation that is so much more than a joke.

In it, a friend of mine, who goes by the handle of Brian Long, and his girlfriend of five years, have a frank and honest conversation about everything from whether or not they want children, to their thoughts on being single.

“I feel like I’ve got two sets of eyes on me,” Brian tells his girlfriend.

“You’re always looking at me and I’m always looking away.

You always have your eyes on each other.

And I feel like there’s an expectation for me to have a relationship with you.”

Brian describes the relationship as “perfect”, and explains that he feels like he’s being treated like a child.

“My life is really fucking perfect,” he says.

“And it’s not perfect for my partner, either.”

And, for those who might think this is just a “stupid” relationship, he says that he’s never been in one where the partner is “less than happy” and has never been on the receiving end of any “misogynistic abuse”.

“The thing that I do find really interesting about it is that I’ve always been able to be myself around women and they’ve always taken me seriously,” he continues.

“If you’re going to make a relationship where I’m less than happy, and that’s the way I feel about it, then it doesn’t matter what you do.”

It’s an argument that resonates with me and others who have experienced domestic violence, and Brian’s story illustrates just how important it is to recognise the dynamics of domestic violence in our society, and to address it as such.

The reality is that it’s difficult to talk about domestic violence without the fear of offending a large chunk of the population.

But we should all remember that we can be heard.

There’s also the fact that, despite the fact many people in this country have witnessed domestic violence and feel they’re powerless to change the situation, it’s a much more complex issue than most people realise.

There is a culture of “not listening” and “not understanding”, which leads to the perception that domestic violence is something to be avoided at all costs, but it’s the very same dynamic that has been used to perpetuate abuse and victimisation in the first place.

When we fail to acknowledge domestic violence as a problem, we fail those we love the most.

“We don’t really care about the relationship,” Brian says.

“[We don] care about what happens to him, or the women he’s attracted to, or what happens when he’s left to his own devices.

And that’s just a shame.”

When asked what advice he would give to people who’ve experienced domestic abuse, he adds: “Be aware of the dynamics, and know when you’re being told that to do what you’re doing, or to tell your partner, that you’re not going to change that relationship, and then you might find yourself doing it anyway.” 

Listen and be aware.

You might be surprised at what you hear.

Brian’s experience is an extreme case, but the idea that a man can say that he is “not doing anything wrong” for “making a choice to live with the pain” of domestic abuse is something that many women will undoubtedly relate to.

And when you’ve experienced what is commonly known as a “broken relationship”, it’s easy to feel a bit powerless.

If you’re struggling with the idea of “what to do next” after experiencing abuse, this article by Lauren Bissett will be of great help.

It tells the story of a young woman, Samantha, who had her relationship destroyed by a “crazy” man.

“When he started to abuse me, I just said, ‘You know what, I’m going to leave’,” Samantha says.

Her “fear was getting the best of me”.

She was forced to leave her parents, she says, because she felt she was no longer loved.

“It was the worst thing that could happen to me, and it was the least I could do,” she says. 

Samantha was able to break free from her abusive partner by telling the story to her mother, who “did everything in her power to save her daughter from being hurt.”

This woman of compassion, and strength, has helped Samantha to learn how to be a stronger person.

This is the first in a series of articles, all of which will be published in the coming weeks, that will discuss the complex nature of domestic and sexual violence, the power dynamics that underpin it, and the impact that it has on those who are affected. 

The truth is, it doesn-t matter how much you want to change it, how much time you’ve spent feeling afraid of the unknown, or feeling like you’re “missing out” on something, it will never be